Thursday, 15 August 2013

Images Of The M4 Have Hit The Internet

The internet is awash with news that images of the new M4 have leaked onto the internet, which is great news for BMW fans as it's where many of them hope to be spending their time. Promising a blend of speed and cornering the like of which the world has never seen the like of which, its Bavarian builders are promising such modern features as carefully-placed cameras all over the M4 to make sure that the driver's sensation of speed is unparalleled, although it's rumoured to be an expensive optional extra. It features a six-cylinder... wait a minute...


Oh wait, are they talking about this?

Shit, sorry! Well, you can see how I'd get confused. So OK, well this makes a lot more sense to be honest, because what I was about to tell you is that the new Bavarian-built M4 fill feature a 3.0-litre straight-six engine with no fewer than three turbochargers, the power output of which is rumoured to be a numerically satisfying 444bhp. It might still have an expensive camera option though, but it'll just be for reversing rather than speed-checking. Expect it to cruise along at 95mph on the other M4 with consummate ease.

Some rumours suggest the newest M car is named after the number of wheels it has...
All right, all right, so this is the "Concept" (read: 99% accurate show-car preview) for the replacement of the M3 Coupé, in line with BMW's new more consistent naming system which I've already explained. No official stats have been revealed yet, but then BMW were hoping not to release pictures and details today. As we've been seeing more and more over the last couple of years, the press pictures leaked, the car maker panicked for a few hours and then calmly acted like it was the plan to release pictures today all along. But no stats yet. Still, we won't have to wait long as the "official" reveal is at the famous Concours event at Pebble Beach this weekend in America, where they're still trying to understand that there's a number 4 on a BMW now.

What's gutsy of BMW is painting the show car in a colour akin to the much-maligned Phoenix Yellow of the early 2000s, colloquial names of which include "Baby Pooh Yellow" and "Piss". But hey, more piss just means we can take more of the piss out of a car named after the most famous way to enter Wales.

The real Phoenix Yellow, on an E46 M3. That would be rather cloudy piss...

OK, who vent to ze toilet in ze paint-mixing room?!
Expect more details over the weekend when BMW brush this little mishap under the rug and discipline the miscreant who leaked an image onto a Belgian website thinking it was safe to do so because hey, Belgium's just chocolate, Spa-Francorchamps and a pissing infant statue, who's even on the internet there anyway?

Turns out everyone is, Hans (or is that Butter Hans?). Because the internet is everywhere all the time. Also, you can expect everything from the A-Pillar forwards to look identical on the eventual M3 saloon version, so now you effectively now what the next BMW M3 is going to look like as well. Double-prizer!!

Yup, still looks like it's wearing glasses...
So there you have it. Britain's most famous southern motorway has turned into a piss-yellow BMW. No wait, BMW are re-building the M4 motorway to have six cylinders. Oh wait, I get it now, everyone on the M4 gets a free BMW which they can piss in. Yeah, that's it. Prepare your tail, for it shall be thoroughly gated come next week!


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